True Life: I think I tried to date a cam girl


Ah, Tinder – so convenient yet so fickle. One day I think I’ve found love, the next day I’m being catfished. And some days it’s both of those simultaneously at the same time. This is about one of the some days. Let’s continue.

I matched with a girl who was a little different from say – a completely normal regular woman. She had bright colored hair, tattoos, and a mouth that would make a sailor blush. I’m into it. It’s nice for a change of pace. We’re talking and it becomes QUITE CLEAR that this woman is a cam girl. But I don’t back off, I’m not a bitch (tbh I totally am). Being a cam girl is just her job. What if she’s looking for a relationship outside of work? I’m good at those. I’m romantic. Ya know, I bet she could use a break. Cam girl’s just wanna have fun and I’m a deliveryman for that.

not true
i am so not fun

I ask her for coffee and she gets a little weird. Saying how she’d rather chat online first. I’m not exactly the most intimidating person. But I’ve always thought that video chatting someone that you don’t know is completely uncomfortable and weird. But I get it, she does that for a living. Forgot to mention this is important, our normal conversations have been happening on kik. I had to download it just for her. I’ve since deleted it because kik is the fucking worst. A friend once told me that “ONLY TERRORISTS USE KIK.” That friend was Gio, we lost his ex-roommate’s-cousin’s-grandfather to ISIS not long ago. Can confirm – that old bastard was kiking days before he went off the map. It’s also totally plausible he just died like a regular old person who goes missing for longer than 12 mins.

rip gif
rip old ppl

Anyway, she turns down my coffee invite and I’m like ok I get it. Not everyone drinks coffee. How about this:  let’s go ice skating. It’s cheap, innocent, and harmless – just like me. Well nope. That’s not gonna work for her either. This goes on for a few days until I find her online. NOT ON A CAM SITE. I JUST FOUND HER ACTUAL TWITTER ACCOUNT. She’s hasn’t been doing so well u guise :/ she’s been sick for awhile and needs our prayers. She even mentioned that there have been fake accounts pretending to be her and that it should be well known knowledge that she lives in Toronto. Not even close to Dallas. Like I’m just supposed to have a map.

goonies map
hey you guys

Someone was using her info to catfish me. So yes, it’s 100% true she was a cam girl. I just wasn’t talking directly to her. Just someone pretending to be her.  BUT I knew she was a cam girl, and I still wanted to take her on a date. When you think about it tho, being catfished is kind of sweet. It’s just someone who makes to make you happy regardless of who they are or what they pretend to be.

God what is wrong with me

catfish honey


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