MY LIFE HAS BEEN AMAZING OVER THE PAST MONTH. I AM SWIMMIN IN WOMEN. I mean bitches. Ok it’s just dogs. But still I’m pretty happy with how it’s going. Getting money to have a dog? Sign me up. Oh wait, I already am.

So far after my first 5 dogs, I figured it would be nice to release this small list of pros and cons I have created in honor of the anniversary of my first client returning. What’s that I hear? Is that… is that a good boy in the distance? That’s right, AMOS IS BACK FOR THE WEEKEND.

Pros:

• Finally having someone who is excited to see me.
• Having something warm to hold at night. I’m so lonely.
• Taking the dog on a walk gets me to go outside.
• Taking the dog on a walk is a good way to meet women. Whom often find it sweet that I dog sit.
• I like having something else that’s alive in my apartment. (sorry that might sound misleading, it’s not that I have anything DEAD, but I like knowing that I have something else moving about.)
• I can feel loved again.
• Dogs are actually really funny.
• Half of them love to sleep/nap as much as I do.
• It forces me to keep my apartment pretty clean if I am constantly cleaning up the hairs and extinguishing the smell of dog.
• Oh, and the money.

Cons:

• Hair.
• Slobber.
• Dirt.
• Oozing toots and seepages.
• I have to constantly clean up after every stay. Washing my bedding and blankets is getting expensive.
• I have to pay taxes on the money. AND the website already takes a percentage.
• Loud tails hitting my walls and waking me up by thumping the bed.
• Taking them to go potty at 6am on Saturday morning.
• Being paranoid about my furniture being torn.
• Accidents while I’m at work.
• Getting too attached and crying when the owner comes to pick up them up.
• Having to stop what I’m doing on the weekends to go home and check on them. Sometimes I like to be gone for 18 hours, but I can’t always do that anymore. I don’t like to leave them inside for too long even if the owner says they are used to it.
• Taking the dog on a walk gets me to go outside.
• So far they have all been mutts. BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL PART HOG. Bed hog that is.
• The other half of them have been very needy, anxious, and crave attention. (I think I just described myself.)
• The worst part of the whole thing thought is holding their warm shitbag until I can find a trashcan on our walking route.

Hope. I wish a woman would look at me the way she did

part dog part seal

Almond. The one that taught me that “all the pretty ones are crazy” holds true for dogs. 

seriously though she was cute

Lois. a terrifying pit mix with more nipples than I have dollars

she’s part lab though so she’s very much a lady

So pondering back on all the moments I’ve had and memories I’ve shared (with Amos, Hope, Winston, Almond, and Lois) this is been pretty dope. 10/10 I would recommend that you try dogsitting from Rover.com if you don’t currently have a dog. It satisfies your dog fix, you get paid, and it’s convenient to not ~always~ have a dog. I can choose to have one when I feel like it. Which is atf time because I could really use the money. So if you need me to dog sit soon, I am booking up very quickly. I only accept one dog at a time. 1) So that I can focus all my lovins towards one at time (my professional answer) 2) my apartment literally isn’t big enough to hold more than two (my real answer.)