MY LIFE HAS BEEN AMAZING OVER THE PAST MONTH. I AM SWIMMIN IN WOMEN. I mean bitches. Ok it’s just dogs. But still I’m pretty happy with how it’s going. Getting money to have a dog? Sign me up. Oh wait, I already am.

is this crude
So far after my first 5 dogs, I figured it would be nice to release this small list of pros and cons I have created in honor of the anniversary of my first client returning. What’s that I hear? Is that… is that a good boy in the distance? That’s right, AMOS IS BACK FOR THE WEEKEND.

RING THE FUCKIN ALARM
Pros:
- Finally having someone who is excited to see me.
- Having something warm to hold at night. I’m so lonely.
- Taking the dog on a walk gets me to go outside.
- Taking the dog on a walk is a good way to meet women. Whom often find it sweet that I dog sit.
- I like having something else that’s alive in my apartment. (sorry that might sound misleading, it’s not that I have anything DEAD, but I like knowing that I have something else moving about.)
- I can feel loved again.
- Dogs are actually really funny.
- Half of them love to sleep/nap as much as I do.
- It forces me to keep my apartment pretty clean if I am constantly cleaning up the hairs and extinguishing the smell of dog.
- Oh, and the money.
Cons:
- Hair.
- Slobber.
- Dirt.
- Oozing toots and seepages.
- I have to constantly clean up after every stay. Washing my bedding and blankets is getting expensive.
- I have to pay taxes on the money. AND the website already takes a percentage.
- Loud tails hitting my walls and waking me up by thumping the bed.
- Taking them to go potty at 6am on Saturday morning.
- Being paranoid about my furniture being torn.
- Accidents while I’m at work.
- Getting too attached and crying when the owner comes to pick up them up.
- Having to stop what I’m doing on the weekends to go home and check on them. Sometimes I like to be gone for 18 hours, but I can’t always do that anymore. I don’t like to leave them inside for too long even if the owner says they are used to it.
- Taking the dog on a walk gets me to go outside.
- So far they have all been mutts. BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL PART HOG. Bed hog that is.
- The other half of them have been very needy, anxious, and crave attention. (I think I just described myself.)
- The worst part of the whole thing thought is holding their warm shitbag until I can find a trashcan on our walking route.
- Hope. I wish a woman would look at me the way she did
- part dog part seal
- Almond. The one that taught me that “all the pretty ones are crazy” holds true for dogs.
- seriously though she was cute
- Lois. a terrifying pit mix with more nipples than I have dollars
- she’s part lab though so she’s very much a lady
So pondering back on all the moments I’ve had and memories I’ve shared (with Amos, Hope, Winston, Almond, and Lois) this is been pretty dope. 10/10 I would recommend that you try dogsitting from Rover.com if you don’t currently have a dog. It satisfies your dog fix, you get paid, and it’s convenient to not ~always~ have a dog. I can choose to have one when I feel like it. Which is atf time because I could really use the money. So if you need me to dog sit soon, I am booking up very quickly. I only accept one dog at a time. 1) So that I can focus all my lovins towards one at time (my professional answer) 2) my apartment literally isn’t big enough to hold more than two (my real answer.)
