yes hello happy november i am back. back again. This is two monthsish behind schedule but for those of you who don’t know, Cuffing Season is kinda defined as the following (i pulled this off urban dictionary and that is my bible)
“During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.”
It’s literally just finding someone to do holiday stuff with. That’s a sweet way to put it. It’s also something that the kids refer to as “netflix and chill”.
Sweater weather really brings out the sad in everybody ya know. I know I just said it brings out the sad, but it also brings out my happy because any day below 60 degrees is the best day of my life i love it so much.
The unofficial (but official) Cuffing Season Schedule to choosing ur boo rental:
Scouting: August 1-31
Drafting: September 1-30 (pick your top prospects)
Tryouts: October 1-31 (how good are you at reading vibes)
Preseason: November 1-30 (bringing ur boo to thanksgiving is advised under user discretion but i generally say do not bring)
Cuffing season: December 1 – January 15 (this is the peak. christmas time and NYE is the most romantic time of the year and it’s so easy to be good at it)
Playoffs: January 16 – February 13 (you can do this)
Championship Game: February 14 (go big or go home but tbqmfhwu going home sounds great)
Final Roster Cuts and Season Ends: February 15 – April 1 (honestly tho at least do it before april first so they dont think it’s an april fools joke like no rebecca this isnt a joke you are alone now see you 5 months)
THAT’S HOW IT IS FOR NORMAL PEOPLE. here is a sneak peak at a much more relatable and realistic expectation:
• More like roughing season. Because I will be roughing these cold winter months all alone.
• More like RUFFing season. Because the only things I will be cuddling are the dogs I sit.
• More like toughing season. Because it’s hard out there for us single folk so we can tough this out together cmon who’s with me.
• More like fluffing season. Because I will be eating nonstop to offset my seasonal depression and will probably gain some weight.
• More like fluffing season. Fluff up whoever you are into so they feel confident enough to go be with someone else who isn’t you.
• More like stuffing season. Because all I will be doing is stuffing food in my mouth.
• More like huffing season. Let me huff anything to put me out of misery of seeing everyone’s holiday happiness.
• More like puffing season. I will puff puff pass anything to help me forget that I’m alone.
• More like duffing season. I will be your duff I don’t care just please someone hangout with me.
• More like nuffing season. Because I have nuffing.
Cuffing season is here. Yet here I am, about to go undrafted. Yes this is a subtweet to anyone who thinks it’s about them.